An anonymous source has informed us that the tech press rumor mill may soon see a massive upgrade.
Said the source, "This year, the rumor mill was barely able to crank out articles claiming that the iPhone 4S would be larger than its predecessor, smaller than its predecessor, and the same size as its predecessor. But in 2012, we're going to speculate about so many different models and widgets that we will actually be able to start mocking up prototypes and sending out agents to lose them in bars."
The source claims that the enhancements to the rumor mill will be due largely to improvements to their manufacturing line that enable them to produce Malarkey at 120% faster rates than ever before. However, they also credit the increased rumors to a 50% higher investment in an "undisclosed imagination enhancement substance."
The source continued, "But it doesn't stop there. We have obtained secret documents about plans for the rumor mill that goes years into the future. The rumored rumor mill has the power to create iPhone rumors like you've never seen before. We're talking elephants, people."
When a reporter commented that the general public might not believe such a far-fetched claim, the source immediately spread a rumor that they would.
-------------------- Apple News Correspondent
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