Here at AT&T, we know a lot of our valued customers bought one of our Unlimited Data Plans back when people thought that sort of thing was "the bee's knees." Even though those days are long gone, it seems that many of you just haven't seen the light.
First, we revolutionized data plans with our 2 GB Data Pro plan. After all, why would you possibly want all those pesky unlimited gigabytes, when you could have only two? But a lot of you kept those unlimited plans.
Next, we introduced 3 GB Data Pro plans. If you ask me, even 3 GB is already a bit too much, but we at AT&T just love to give away bandwidth. But still some of you silly geese clung to your grandfathered unlimited plans just the same.
We even tried to help you understand, through the magic of throttling, that unlimited plans are simply not cool anymore. But even that just didn't work. That's why I'm here today to announce AT&T's latest promotion, which will bring the wireless industry into a new era of speed and productivity.
AT&T proudly presents: Give up your grandfathered unlimited data plan, or we'll kill you!
As it clearly states in your contract, in times of extreme network congestion, in order to manage traffic, AT&T reserves the right to terminate customers that it deems to be excessive data users.
Studies show that more than 98% of our customers like being alive. So if the tiered data plans are enough for these customers, certainly they should be plenty for you too.
So why not head on over to AT&T's online store and check out our tiered options for data plans right now? We know where you live.
-------------------- Chief iPod Correspondent
Senior Time Waster
Captain of the Planet Express
Assistant Jedi Librarian